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Tonto had just been in there, cleaning and scrubbing, charging the fabric of the place. Maybe its selfish that Albert never told him what happened after his frenetic cleaning episodes, dancing and cleansing, beckoning a molten black universe, treacle and rainbows to gush out of the shower head. He worried that by telling Tonto of the splendour that he called forth, it might stop, it might never happen again. Albert could not let that happen.
He waited until Tonto left to go to work at the old cinema. Sitting patiently with palms on knees, Albert basked in anticipation. Every movement and motion from this point on was imbued with purpose, the last strawberry in the world. the last kiss before something different, more than likely never to happen again.
The door came level with the plain of the wall with a wet metal click, he gently slid the brass lock into the door frame, and turned to face the shower. The charge building in his stomach, goose pimples and cold air floated invisibly in the damp room. One by one he methodically removed his clothes and folded them up in the corner. Taking the small pink plastic bag from his trouser pocket and placing it by the sink.
The molded fibre glass bath creaked as it took his weight. He was hardly breathing. Slowly twisting the plastic gage to its hottest setting. Switching it on.
gloss black beads began to swell from each pore of the showers head, shining and slick. Eyes watering taking deep slow breath, savouring the smell of Jiff, bleach and petrol. A wet super nova was born all over his face. Every colour that ever lived and a few that had yet to.Tears streamed down his cheeks, he pissed himself and fell to his knees. Closing his eyes at this point, hoping to avoid the complete lack of spacial awareness as the bath filled with warm black fluid. Lying back, still, eyes closed in the inch or so of darkness that was slowly filling the bath. He let the black run through his fingers, viscous and warm. Everywhere around him droplets were sucked from above into the bath bursting and blooming with colours as they became one with the whole. A fruit fly lay beside him on the surface, reached orgasm and disappeared like a pebble. Drip by drop it enveloped him. He didn't know this was the end, if he had he would have been happy.
this afternoon i listened to albert ayler and got inside my bathroom with some cleaning spray and wipes and a bucket and rolled around the walls in my tracksuit. i went inside the shower with the bucket and rubbed the walls and the plastic glass doors and flicked all the gunk out with of the cracks with my cloth. i put my hand in the toilet and then i went up to the wall with my side and my back and rubbed it with my tracksuit
chewing tongue
teeth turn
Round bone
lolling, swallowing
gaping
relentless
flacidmass
no way back
no visible way forward
upper lip split in perfect symmetry
raw
salted
wet
desperate
I wish i had had the words
just a few
The following images were taken during the apocolyptic rebirth of a year, like a whale in in a vacume 2009 was born, and lo the begining of NEWLEAF. =
Optimism is most definitely the best way to combat thick indelible pessimism...
I wish i was a better writer.
I just realised that the panda look is probably synonymous with impotency, blissful limp...
You look like soft content and Agata looks like composure...
You Know when you said that it always shocked you that you could be really happy one day and really sad the next, maybe this was the happy point before the inevitable fall...
I'm beginning to spend an alarming amount of my time and space documenting and archiving my life. A desperately circular waltz. know one really cares anyway. Perhaps its because i feel like I'm loosing it all. Self Deprecating analysis. I'm so happy laughing at you it feels like eating rainbows or driven snow...
Children, spiteful and malicious, undiluted evil, pure selfish expense
relishing documenting your misfortune
watching myself kill a fish
conscience lurching
feeling so bad
rubbing your back
Loosing your inhibitions and weaving them into a protective invisible womb blanket.
Liquidating the divide, between figure and ground, atoms on atoms...
To piss outside, in open air, where walls and skies abound...
smile and the world spins with you
bed my head for sleep, thoughts roll like soft magnets.
slowly, indecisevly changing their polarity,
luke warm metal beans.
ear wax and honey,
edges blurred by cold fluffy static.
rolling Squeezing Tumbling Vieing for space.
imperceptibly slipping off into a skewed dark horizon
a bubble in oil
clean white sheets
I cant move, i feel like shit, inescapable shit...
But things will be better...
FUUUCK YOO!